Lamb Of God

“Behold the Lamb of God, behold him who takes away the sins of the world. Blessed are those called to the supper of the Lamb?”

 The priest’s voice is calm yet commanding bringing me back to reality. It’s been exactly three years since I set foot in church, me a former devoted altar boy, I even used to accompany the priest to other out stations to serve mass!  Then somewhere along the way I got lost just as I got lost in my mind during this mass celebration. I don’t know about your family but mine we have a very weird way of showing love, for today we in church seated on the third bench from the main entrance, this is how unworthy we feeling before the Lord, we can’t even sit on the front, not that we came in late, not when my little brother is involved, service starts at 7:30am, nigga woke us up at around 5.50am. The worse part he did it guilt tripping us, “nyinyi mnaamka saa kumi kwenda job hamwezi amka six kenda kanisa.” Am sorry Lord that day I woke up mad at you, you know me and getting me into my feelings, I don’t know why am like this, am sorry! You made me though, then gave me ideas to write about am grateful, and now you have added a priest in our family, bariki wengine sasa!

 This is his last mass at St. Joseph The Worker, where he has grown served and fallen in love with the church and to officiate this found love on Friday of the fourth of August 2023, he is starting his priesthood journey at St Thomas Aquinas seminary. To celebrate our little who now so little brother we all in church, hadi Baba Sancho, in admiration watching him seated next to the priest in a white robe. We all proud of him, you should hear Shosh brag on how one of her grandson is attending serinamary (seminary) as she puts it, 

 –“weka hiyo chini. Mtu asiguze apple kwa hii nyumba zote ni za Father Ian”

-“Muigai ashakula moja” snitch.I get I eye balled.

-“Ata mimi nilikuwa altar saver” I boastfully shout and bite my apple.

 The only disadvantage, which after third rounds of whiskey the previous night we came to conclusion it’s not even a disadvantage, but I do not want to start wars I cannot win, is, he has to give up marriage, ironically we the same people who can’t even hold on to relationship, last I checked none of this niggas received a phone call or drunk called their crush let alone show signs we got someone in mind. Of all her adult male grandson none is married or you know promising marriage we all in Nairobi but this one, the chosen one, can’t wait for him to be ordained priest those get together will be different, him saying a prayer blessing our muratina, can’t wait.  He is the reason am finally back in church wondering how Dj Mista. C does it and where does he even upload his mixes? Ama ni mimi sina connections? You should all watch season two of THE KENYAN🇰🇪 DJ CAFÉ, at some point he captures the attention of his live audience who are all deejays by the way, I need to be invited to such sittings who do I talk to? Anyway the transition from hip-hop to amapiano trust me only Mista. C can do that. Season two is just lit by the way Kenyan deejays are just on another level everyone on it had me at some point shouting alone in my house. Now I get it, this is why I always get weird looks from my neighbors, they wouldn’t get it though, music is my drug right after her Highness Mary, alcohol not that much, kwanza the Muratina afterwards slapped different, sweeter than your partners lies. Kidnapping me would be easy, nilishe, nivutishe then play me some good music I’ll cooperate, am not choosy.  I’ll be jamming to everything nice, once found myself at an Indian music concert, I was working though, hii Nairoibi aki! There were like fifty people there with some Indian artist and a deejay with a good knowledge of his crowd, the music had me twisting my neck all night while chaperoning drunk Indian dudes, we were the extra hands hired for the night.  

“Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed.”

The congregation responds bringing me back to reality again. The devil can’t let such a humble Lords servant like me concentrate for the liturgy of the Eucharist, the most important part of the Holy Mass, yes, am blaming him for this, using my weaknesses against me. Now that I think of it, the way the devil lies and seduces it must be a “HE” from the Garden of Eden. My view, this is where seduction was invented. “Naiaje msupa? Huski hii apple si venye Jah alisema” type of vibe.

 Everyone sits, now this the part we receive the body of Christ, where you people mock us for how we behave after receiving the body. Once saw a meme where Pink Panther is seated hands closed as if in prayer captioned “Catholics after receiving Holy Communion”  catholic is complicated for new comers, we stand, sit, kneel for crying out of loud we even shake hands all in one service, sorry here we say mass celebration. For you to receive the Holy Communion alone you need to undergo hell lot of “mafundisho” and also be worthy it, like for me I haven’t been in church in very long time and haven’t gone for confession, you getting the conflict I have with the Most High. See what I did there, Most High am in church and later I might you know, forget I said that, heaven is the goal, but for “mafundisho” I’ve been in all classes, received all sacraments possible for now, I only got two remaining, marriage, am already giving up on this one, I need to teach first though, get another view of life, but before then ni kuwabeba asubuhi, Usiku na mchana wanne wa haraka sabini, sabini Nairobi, tusonge hadi nyuma. if I can’t find this rib then I’ll find notes for my pocket, mlisema ukinyimwa una nunua, modern problems, modern solutions. The other one is death, this one there is no escape, scary story. Reminds me of that Joyner Lucas song, Devils Work, “Father forgive me, for I know not what I do And now I’m reachin’ out to you,  Hoping you hear me and return the message, I know that you got our back and that you’re not against us”

You have no idea how I have been waiting to gloat on how catholic I am, my “holier-than-thou” Catholic prowess! but for today it’s for my little brother seminarian Ian. Am not sure if that’s the right title for now but what am sure after his studies he will be Fr. Ian Ndungu Karuku.  I was told on the final day of his confirmation as priest he has to lie down for some type of service, I’ll make sure to attend this and come report to you guys. I got you unlike these government officials you elected. When will you learn?

Ian is the only person I know who generates positive vibes everywhere he goes, with a constant and infectious smile. Then with his innocent round light skinned face and a tendency to ask the most unexpected questions, you can’t help it but smile. He always leaves an impact where he goes he once visited my grand mum, my dad’s mum, she declared of all the men she has met non come close to Ian. Got hurt though, she has met us!

This is for you brother congratulations on your new journey, Fr. IAN.   

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