Manyanga Arithmetic’s

“Wadhii wa sai wametoka kazi wamechoka, wanataka tu kufika home cheza Wakadinali,” I literary shout to Maws while trying to take over control over the radio. We’ve been in traffic for fifteen minutes now, and for fourteen of those minutes, he’s been relentlessly tapping the “next” button, anatafuta ile mix huanza na ‘you ready to party’

“Hii ni masaa ya kutengezea watu mood wafike home wamefurahia,” My driver counters “Cheza ile old school ama afrobeat na ubebe matangi ama Juja tukafunge. Maws umeona venye kazi hupigwa?”

I take control of the radio and play a soul mix. When it comes to curating the playlist, I have confidence in my skills. I still need the lessons.

The three of us, seated in the front part of the bus, are stuck in traffic at Konja, as we head to Odeon. It’s around 7.40pm and we are in town for our last trip, squad ya mwisho. Maws is a newbie in this industry under my wing, training him the do’s and the don’ts. Yes, we offer classes in this matatu industry. Expensive, well-organized training sessions executed by experts only. Fusing the priceless lessons I gained in my many years at KU with the insights I earned from my street wisdom., there is no better teacher for Maws. I am confident that I have been an outstanding teacher to the extent that we are earning additional money. Tumekuwa tukibeba hadi watu wa Meru.

“…I’ve been thinking about you, Oh baby, can’t get you out of my mind, I’ve been thinking about you..”

Klaas and Londonbeat voices fills the car through the speakers, the sound seems to swirl and dance in the air, weaving its way between the vehicles on the crowded road. With each note, the driver manoeuvres skilfully in the evening traffic. Meanwhile, I stand at the open door, my hand extended outward like a beacon, signalling our intent to merge into the flow of cars, with or without space. Tunakundunga nani.

We’re now at Roysambu just after beating Thika road evening traffic and the vehicle gains momentum. My driver hoots systematically, warning me it’s time to lock the door. Sasa ni Kumalo. Communication is very vital to this business. Everyone has his/her role to play. If the driver and the conductor aren’t in sync, no business will take place. It is day four with Maws. So far he has learned the ropes and knows how to deal with people without losing money. He has perfected the whole of chapter six of Manyanga Arithmetic. To perfect his skills, I have entrusted him with the responsibility of collecting fare. A duty he has perfected well, you should have seen him:

–Nisaidie thirty bob?

The lady hands him three ten shillings coins. Maws in return hands her a fifty-shillings note. I can’t help it. I involuntarily smile, pride written all over my face. Indeed, am a teacher. My smile grows wider as flashbacks of my form 1 central Kiswahili class during my teaching practice rule mind. I hope by now Alex can finally recite the seven days of the week in Swahili.

“Angalia Japhet kwa mpesa anaseama amelipa mara mbili” Maws says to me. I fish out my phone, unlock it and start going through the mpesa messages one by one.

“una change ya mtu?” I ask without looking up. Maws doesn’t even get a chance to reply angrily, someone barks from behind interrupting DeBarge Rhythm of the night.

• “Wewe change yangu!”

Not to have a confrontation, I enquire about his destination.

• Disciple
• Before ufike utakuwa umepewa.

The dude keeps quiet and relaxes. “ni ya pesa ngapi?” I ask my guy. We start counting how much he owes, and he gives the total cash to me. Now, I have to run around and find change, coins to be exact, mmoja wa chwani, watano mbao mbao na mmoja thirty bob. This is why one needs training to understand such maths. Also, people out here aren’t that nice. Someone will pay with a hundred shillings note and claim he/she paid a thousand and others are on a mission to steal.

…People talking ‘bout the girl who’s come to town. She’s a lady… One I really want to know, Somehow I’ve got to let my feeling show, exciting, She’s so exciting to me, (She’s fresh, fresh) exciting…

It’s around 8:30pm and the son of man is running from stall to stall at Ruiru, desperately looking for coins all in vain. Time for Plan B. I tried my best. Between my fingers makangas style, am visibly holding two one-hundred-shilling notes and the passenger alighting only requires a hundred and forty as change. This requires a special skill and the passengers having little knowledge of what is about to transverse for security reasons, avoiding resistance.

“Nisaidie 50 bob?” I say out loudly to them all, gaining all their attention that they do not notice themselves forming a curve all facing me. They are all quiet, exchanging confused glances, unsure of what to do. I repeat myself in a commanding tone, then spread my arm. One of them volunteers and hands me fifty shillings note.

“Kuna mtu ako na kumi” I ask while handing one-hundred-note to the person who handed me the fifty-shilling note. By now I have them all in my web even if I ask for more cash someone will definitely give it to me, ata kama ni wewe unapeana chwani unarudishiwa soo akiitisha kumi mpatie upewe mbao. I receive my ten shilling and give the other hundred to the same guy who gave me the fifty-shilling note.

“Huyu aka na change yenyu yote sasa,” I say this while pointing to the man now holding the two one hundred notes and run towards the vehicle. By now, my driver has grown impatient and has already left the stage. I have to run after the vehicle as the clients, for unknown reasons, run after me. I still don’t get why you people do this. They give up and realize all is well and what happens after that I’d be lying if I said I knew.

As soon as I dandia the vehicle, I’m met by my Maws falling after being pushed and we almost collide. Before I even comprehend what’s happening, I’m caught between him and an angry man, both shouting, God knows why. To contain the situation, I stand in between them and order Maws to keep quiet and not move an inch. The other man is still shouting, threatening to skin Maws. From the scent coming out of him, the guy is drunk. Dealing with him might be difficult.

“Babayo, shida ni nini? Tuli agree change nakupatia bado hujafika Disciple,” I say to him, trying to calm him down.

The guy mistakes this for weakness and starts accusing me of how we’re plotting and planning on stealing from him..

 “una thirty bob?” I ask him, remembering the fifty-shilling note.

“Mimi usiniitishe pesa ingine nishalipa gari nipatie pesa yangu” he says this while trying to push me. I’m a patient man, but I too have my limits. With the knowledge he is drunk annoys me, not that I don’t drink, but this is my workplace. Respect the hustle.

“Cheki mzae ni utulie ungoje tutafute coins sasa umeanza kusumbua” I say this to him while moving close to him clenching my fist in case he decides to misbehave. My driver by now has heard the commotions and just before Gwa kairu hapo after tu Shell. He stops and joins the party. For some reasons, everyone trusts drivers more than conductors, for crying out loud we are the ones handling the cash.

“Ni nini mnaendeleza huku nyuma?”

The man takes the chance and starts explaining to my driver how we are plotting to steal from him. 

Tension.

Umelipa pesa ngapi? Kadereh asks the man.

  He replies. My driver fishes out his wallet, pulls out a one-hundred-shilling note, hands it to the drunk who happily takes it.

Angrily he orders “Sasa toa ujinga nje. Shuka!”

“Shuka” I add as I pave way for him. Defeated, he alights.

“Angalia hii gari vizuri. Umeona? Usiwai panda ju hutafurahia. Huwa hatusahau sura za mabrainah”

I hope Maws learnt something.