Nasinzia Pia

There are days when everything feels a bit… off. It’s not necessarily a sad or gloomy day, but more of an “aaagh” kind of vibe. You know the feeling – like you’re floating through the day without a clear direction. It’s on these peculiar days that you ponder over your interactions and relationships, questioning your choices and behaviours.

As you navigate through this mental maze, you might stumble upon surprising realizations. Maybe you’ll find yourself drawn to someone unexpected, or perhaps you’ll come face to face with some hard truths about yourself. And to top it all off, your brain seems to kick into overdrive, playing out your past blunders in a vivid 3D cinema experience. They said life is all about decisions. Your existence is a complex fabric woven with every decision you’ve ever made, every path you’ve chosen. Most panic and start secluding themselves from the world, “cut off”.

On days like this, mimi hutokea Nairobi. Thanks to our ladies, who know how to put on a show, I’ll be heading back home grinning like a Cheshire cat, forgetting what got me all riled up. In this city, random strangers will have you involuntarily smiling, forgetting all your troubles for a minute, lakini pia ukikaa vibaya. Ching Chunga.

Picture this: you’re striding down the sidewalk, scowl in place, minding your own business. Definitely cursing the government for the hot temperatures and high cost of living, pande left Shiko in a white tight top displaying the shape of her small round tits with nipples threatening to pop out. Kuvuka Barabara unapatana na kigonyi wa manyanga hooting, trying to get the attention of Nyako in a shiny black dress tight in all necessary areas showing her cleavage.

These creatures! We can’t do without them, though. Get one that likes you. I can bet my life a lot will change. You should see how many of my now married friends have changed. Two started working out, not that they want to niggas getting fat. Let’s say chubby for the sake of their feelings.

 “… ndani ya nyumba Tafuta mpenzi lako, mshike kwa mikoni ha, Mwangalie ndani ya macho hmm,  ah, mpeleke kando, Namwambie…” 

Getting one is very easy, I just happen not to know how. Now it’s me, my terrible chest, against the world. Alafu mvua! I wish I applied what Nameless taught us back then and try to change the status. If am not wrong, he took his own advice, grabbed himself a Wa-who and turned her to a Mathenge. Unlike me, hapigwi na baridi, jiko kashapata, anaongeza kuni tu. The next time I see her, I might pull this move and see where it lands me, but for now, it’s me, my hot glass of ginger-lemon concussion and her highness Mary. Hii homa inatakakunimaliza banah! 

I don’t understand why someone would want to be with another man. First it was Adam. Him and the lions in the garden of Eden. God saw how bored man was and took a rib from him, the raw material that manufactured Eve. Here, I have questions for the Highest, there is something they didn’t say. Later this rib came, talked to the devil, tukisema shida ni wanawake we got a basis for that. Then there was Noah and his ark. Okay, he might have experimented with ducks, but still male and female. You get my point, though.

I have no problem with their liking’s bora msinikatie. Someone said thanks to gay men they not only leave behind more women for us, they take another man with them. But dude, have you seen boobs? I believe here God put more effort and thought into creating this rib. He came up with different shapes and sizes for them. Then the white man came up with different names for them. Variety bro! Just a passing thought. It doesn’t have to be serious sometimes, chipambe nani! Peace.